Dear Breakfast,
I know we’ve never really been close, what with most of your offerings being too sweet for things that aren’t just ice cream and chocolate. Usually, our meetings consist of coffee and coffee alone. However, when given enough love and steak, you really aren’t half bad!
Love and Heartburn,
Madelyn
(nom notes - eggie in a basket grilled cheese with steak, and home fries)
Dear Best Friend,
I know you’ve been getting a lot of web-letters (which sounds so much cuter than e-mail, plus these are not actually emails) lately, but every time I see this clip, I simultaneously think of you, laugh hysterically and nearly piss my pants. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Love and Afros,
Madelyn
Dear Morticia and Gomez,
Yours is indubitably my ideal marriage. Just look at what a lovely couple you make - you wear all black together, you smoke hookah together, you dance together; all the things that a happy pair might do. Someday, I hope to have a relationship as solid and loving as yours is.
Adoringly yours,
Madelyn
Dear North Carolina,
If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get gay married.*
But don’t tell anyone they can’t if they do.
Lividly yours,
Madelyn
(GIF found on reddit, quote found on a Manhattan Mini Storage billboard, apparently said by this guy)
Dear Rocky,
You have been my cat for quite a long time now; long enough that I no longer remember how long it is that you have been my cat. However, I don’t understand why, after so long of sharing an apartment, you have not yet gained the ability to sing and play the guitar - a lack of opposable thumbs is not an excuse - like that cool cat.
But I guess I still love you,
Madelyn
Dear Platypus,
I think we might be related because I think this is how I look on the extraordinarily rare occasions that I run, which is to say irrefutably ridiculous and roaringly adorable (the latter pertaining more to you, you funny little billed mammal, you).
Absolutely all of my love,
Madelyn
(credit to reddit)
Dear Daddy,
Happy Birthday!
Love,
Madelyn
(via - i have no idea)
Dear Girl,
I hope you know how lucky you are. I don’t know how it came to be that you got to spend your days feeding, playing with and cuddling a moose, but I hope that all the events that occur in my life lead me to the same place. I can’t really think of anything that would make me happier than having a moose for a companion.
Please give your boy a big ol’ kiss for me.
Love & Antlers,
Madelyn
(video via daddy)
—
Dear Fire,
Generally, you’re awesome. You can keep me warm, cook my food & entertain me when there isn’t anything else to do. You are cleansing. You are pretty. There are so many reasons to love you. But you can’t just pop up in my oven when I’m trying to make myself a goddamn grilled cheese for breakfast. So not OK, dude.
Hungerly yours,
Madelyn
Dear Cartman,
This is my mantra, and you are my guru.
Yeeeeer soooooo keeeeeeeeeewl!!!!
Love,
Madelyn
(via)
Thank you notes, love letters, hate mail and other correspondences to entities unlikely to respond
